Dominos
by jellox
Summary: Sasuke wants to see the mark but is too afraid to ask. SasuNaru.
1. dominos

Author's note:  I'm struggling with writing college essays right now, so I decided to take a breather and experiment with a Naruto fic. Here's what I got so far.  

**Dominos**

by jellox

I see you look at me every now and then whenever you think nobody is watching.  And really, you're right.  Nobody is watching.

You glance over in my direction.  Like now, for example.  I can feel your eyes on my face…trail down, on my neck, on my chest, and finally on my stomach.  You linger there for a moment, narrowing your eyes.  And I know what you must be thinking.

Sometimes I think we're the same, you and me.  We're orphans after all.  We both know what it's like to wake up screaming in the middle of a nightmare with nobody to calm us down.  We freak out like the freaks we are.

So I wonder why we don't know each other.  Why can't we, for a moment in our lives, just sit down and… 

You know, if you let me, I would lift up my shirt for you.  You could do it yourself, of course, if you wanted to.  Do you want to?  Then maybe you can understand and see for yourself what I am -- _who _I am.  

I wonder…

"Sasuke." I break the silence. "What is it?"

For a moment, you're startled out of your reverie and take a few blinks before you glaze your eyes over once more.  "Nothing."

"Hn." 

I guess the problem is… I don't try, either.  And if we both lack initiative, how can anything ever get done?  There has to be some kind of spark.  Something that ignites the other...

Or perhaps it's like a domino effect.  There's all this tension, you see.  The tension is built up with gigantic walls that are stacked neatly next to each other.  It makes a pattern of some sort, I don't know what.  But one of us will knock it over one day.  Then all the walls will fall and all that will be left is us two, staring at each other from either side.

"Do you always come here when you're thinking about things?" you ask, finally.  It comes out in one breath, one rush.

It is my turn to be startled, eyes widening as I stare into my full bowl of ramen.  "Huh?  What did you say?"  I heard you perfectly, of course.  No matter how fast you speak, I think I'll always understand you.  You were just too blunt, is all.  I look up in your direction.

"I said, do you always come here when you're troubled by something?  And why aren't you eating anything?"

"I don't know, why aren't _you?" I shoot back._

I notice that you don't have anything placed on the counter in front of you.  So you've just been sitting there, and…?  

"Not always," I say.  "This is just one place I like to go…you know, since it has my favorite food and everything.  I can't tell you where the other place is, though, otherwise you'll follow me there, too."  
  


And it's funny because you don't deny it.

In your silence, I slurp down the bowl.  After I finish, I stand up.  Then you stand up.  We face each other.

"Well, I'm finished," I announce obviously.  You nod and stare at my face.  I try not to look away, but honestly, it's starting to weird me out.  You haven't stared this much before!  What's up?

"Um…" 

Eh?  You've never been this awkward, either… but there's always a first in everything, I suppose.

"Yesss…?" I urge.  "Sasuke wants… Sasuke wants…"

"Sasuke wants…" you repeat, absentmindedly.  I laugh.  I think you're thinking too much.

"What does Sasuke want?" I tease.  I am smiling now, thanks to you, and I'm about to tease you more when I realize how lost you actually are.  You are crinkling your forehead, struggling with your words.  Hmm… 

"Listen, why don't you just come with me?" I offer.  "We can do something… I don't know…"   

"Okay," you respond, cutting me off, and I laugh.  You laugh as well.  

So we go off in one direction together.  I don't know where we're going, but I'm glad it's somewhere.

TBC 


	2. wind

Author's note:  Heh, thanks for reviewing, you guys!  You managed to get me all inspired!  I initially wasn't planning to write a continuation so soon, but I just couldn't stop myself.  It's actually been a while since I've written fanfiction so it's nice to experience that whole review-anticipation thing again.  I'd forgotten how fun and helpful it is.  Anyway, this chapter… it's kind of different from the first one in that Naruto doesn't refer to Sasuke as "you" anymore.  In this one, the "you" refers to anybody in general.  It may sound confusing, but I think you guys will follow it okay.  I hope, at least, haha.  I was actually considering making this a completely different one-shot because of that reason, but it actually does relate to how I wanted this story to go, so I left it in.  Ah well, you guys can be the judge of how this is turning out, eh?  Oh, and one last thing, the 3-star breaks is a little nod towards Kurt Vonnegut.  Okay, alright!  I'm gonna stop talking now.  On with it, I say! ****

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

The wind is blowing on our backs today.

As ninjas, we're taught to pay attention to the wind.  It can be our friend as well as our foe.  And as with anything, the actual trick comes with understanding it.

It can tell us plenty.  If you're out and about – on a mission perhaps – you can predict if a storm is coming.  The air gets heavy, the sky goes dark, and the wind… it gives off a distinct smell.  Rain.  You can smell the rain from afar.  It fills your nose completely, and you'll know that you have to stop for the time-being.  Notice the way the trees are swaying?  Build a nest that hides from the current.  

Other times, the wind will give off the smell of death – of blood.  And when it hits your nose, you're prepared.  As a ninja, you must be prepared.  

Conceal yourself.  Attack.  Survive.

               *       *        *

There's an older saying that's different from what we're taught, however.

They say:  _Let the wind carry you._

I guess that's another way of saying to let fate run its course.  Life – or wind – will lead you to a certain location, for example, and all you can do is make the most of it while you're at that place in time.  

In this case, you're not _opposing _the wind at all.  You're not fighting in the opposite direction or staying behind.  You go _with_ the storm.  It may lead you to danger, but you face the danger when you get there.

               *       *        *

"Oi, Sasuke?" 

"Hn."  

It's amazing how fast he can change his demeanor. Just a moment ago, he was all weird and… I guess once you're there, it's not that bad?

"You ever just go with flow sometimes?  You know...just close your eyes and walk blindly?"  

"No… That would be suicide."

"But you could end up somewhere _awesome, don't you think?"_

"…"

"I mean, sometimes we're given bad situations.  Sometimes they don't even make sense, no matter how much we try to think about it.  But when we actually accept it… we learn."  A pause.  "Either that, or hide from it."  Another pause.  "Or go insane."

"Or try to make it better," he offers.

"Yeah, exactly!  _Make _your own destiny!  We're all the same in some ways… all given some kind of pain that could make us weak…"

"But we're still not the same, Naruto."

"Why?"

"Because we all grow up to think differently.  The pains may be similar, but we get to think a certain way and it's hard to say if there's a right way of thinking in the first place."

"Hm…"

"Where are we going?"

               *       *        *

Sometimes we surround ourselves with people who think the same way we do because we don't want to be corrupted… or something.  We shield ourselves and censor others because it's the only thing we _can _do to not go crazy and lose ourselves completely.

But then… as you live your life, you meet certain people that challenge you – challenge your way of thinking.  Your roads collide somehow.  Your roads _clash._

Those people become your rivals, maybe.  For a while, you're convinced you _hate them.  You envy them.  You hate how they think.  You hate how they act.  Anything they do…_

               *       *        *

"That used to _really _annoy me!" I say, suddenly.

He is still looking ahead, un-phased at my outburst.  "What did?"

"That!" I point at the spot in his shorts where his right hand is stuffed inside.

He gives me a strange look.  "Why?"

I laugh quietly, remembering.  "You always acted so… I don't know.  You just gave off this high and mighty aura when we first started.  It really pissed me off, y'know.  The hands-in-your-pockets thing."

He smiles a little and doesn't say anything.

I continue, "But I guess it's just some weird thing you do, ne?"

"I guess," he says.

"Hah!"

"Hey, you pissed me off, too."

"Yeah, right!" I say, mock surprised.  "How?"

He looks over at me and grins.  "That stupid orange color."

"Hah!"

               *       *        *

Then you're thrown in numerous situations together, you and your rival.

And suddenly, it's not just about your _own survival… but the survival of your comrades as well – rival included._

We're taught that, too:  _Those who break the rules and codes of the ninja world are called trash.  But those who don't take care of their comrades are lower than trash._

So maybe that's what made us do those things, then?  

Maybe it was this code that made us two fight side-by-side, saving each other's necks time and time again.  We were _forced into it, you could say.  We want to be shinobi, so we have to have to take care of each other.  Hell, it's another code if you look at it that way.  A code of breaking codes.  _

Still… there _has _to be something more beneath the surface.  A ninja must see beneath the underneath.  And I know there's more. 

But it's downright impossible to explain. 

               *       *        *

"Oi… we're here!"

… in front of my home.

"I don't know if I want to go in…" he mutters.  I can see the smile in his eyes though.

"Hey, _I _didn't lead you here.  We both walked, didn't we?"  I bounce up the steps.  "Come on!"

He looks at me strangely once again but follows me inside anyway.

               *       *        *

Sometimes I can't tell if it's the wind or if it's our very own feet that take us places.  

Does it even matter?

TBC

Author's note:  This is a little request for Naruto fanatics/experts.  I follow the anime, y'see, but I'm willing to get a few spoilers (from the manga) for little details that'll help me out in the next chapter.  If there's anyone out there who's willing to share some insight on specific questions I have, I'd really appreciate it. If you're interested, please email me at bladeofclouds@yahoo.com.  Thanks a lot!


	3. peace in war

Author's Note: Yikes, it's been a while since I've touched this piece. But as I was looking at it again tonight, I had a sudden urge to update it. And it just came. So it continues. :) Thank you to the people who emailed me in response to my request. I don't think I'll need the help anymore, but if I happen to, I'll know who to run to! And one more thing, for disclaimer purposes: I made up a war for this chapter.

Thank you for the reviews!

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When we get inside, I immediately reach for a shirt laying on the ground and hide it behind my back. Sasuke rolls his eyes. "Be glad it's not your underwear."

"What if it _was_ my underwear?" I ask, curious.

"You'd be turning pink right now."

"No, I wouldn't!" I say, and heat rushes to my face anyway. We stand there for a while. "Umm…"

I walk over to the kitchen and pull out a chair. "Sit," I say. He remains standing. Sighing, I go to him, grab his hand, and lead him towards the table. His hand is cold, calloused at the palm. I push him down gently on the chair, then go over to the cupboards in search for food.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke asks.

"You didn't eat anything at Ichiraku, so I'm gonna make you eat here. You're too skinny."

"…"

When he doesn't respond, I look around. He is smiling, and I blink to make sure. Finally, after being certain of sincerity, I close my eyes in happiness and flash him my own smile. Then I turn to rummage through the cupboards again. When I find the ramen cups, I give a yell of "Aha!" and take out four to show him. "Pork, chicken, beef, or shrimp?" He is still smiling when he says, "Shrimp."

I grab a pot from underneath the sink, fill it with water, and place it on top of the stove. After setting the heat on high, I sit down at the table across from Sasuke. "Hard work, cooking ramen," I say, but my joke goes unattended.

"Do you feed all your friends ramen when they come over to your place?" Sasuke asks, and his smile is gone. Nevertheless, the word 'friend' doesn't escape my attention and I can't help but crack a smile before answering seriously, "No. Not really."

"Hm."

"You're the first," I say.

"Is that so."

We sit in silence, but it is no longer awkward. Maybe it's because I am at home, or maybe it's because I witnessed a smile. But for a reason I can't grasp, I am strangely relaxed. His presence - it seems peaceful this time. I think this strange all of a sudden. Was it not only a month ago we bared our fierce competition against each other, trying to climb up the trees? It was natural, then. Natural, yet chaotic.

Now, it is natural… and peaceful.

"Why do you sigh?" he asks, startling me.

I raise my eyes from the spot in space on which I was staring. "Me, sigh?"

He blinks in response, a Sasuke-esque affirmation.

"I don't know…" I say. "I was just thinking. Isn't it strange that we can sit here like this?"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know, it seems so weird to me. It's like… Okay, you remember the Final Battle of Gairu?" The Final Battle of Gairu was the month-long battle that ended a war between Sand and Konoha more than forty years ago.

"Mm," he says.

"I heard once that at the full moon on the last month of the lunar calendar, ninjas on both parties ceased fight." I pause, lost in thought. "They ceased fight because it was the Annual Day of Praise." The Annual Day of Praise was a day in which all people were required to live peacefully – that is, no assassinations, no missions, and above all, no war. Of course there were members that did not adhere to such an idea, but most Hokages in that time period heavily enforced it.

"Isn't it strange how one day, people can be brutally killing each other… the next, be eating food in each others' presence, with weapons put snugly away… and then after that, killing each other again! The ninja who sat on the rock near you, chomping on his cheap rice cake, is once again your enemy. You're ordered to kill him! It's crazy!"

"Hn. It seems perfectly normal to me," Sasuke says, and I look at him as if he's the crazy one.

"How!"

"Humans feel little control when they get lost in the rules, in the devotion, in the long-term hate. They don't know why they fight anymore, but they believe they fight for something right. Or wrong, maybe, if evil rules their actions. But then again, as I said before… it's hard to say if there's a right way of thinking in the first place."

I find this answer unsettling. "You think that devotion causes you to lose yourself? Believing in something makes you lose yourself?"

"It happens all the time."

I shake my head. "No! It is different with them. It's because they lose sight of the goal! It doesn't happen all the time! If we believe we can reach our goals, we _can _reach our goals! You just can't lose sight of it. Otherwise you _will _lose yourself."

"Obsession will kill you," he says. Suddenly his face seems dark, and I can't help but wonder of the meaning to his words. He said once that he would kill…that man. I was oblivious to it, then, but now… I feel goosebumps on my arms.

"I will not lose myself," I say, staring straight at him. "And I won't let you, too."

He looks back at me, and doesn't say anything more.

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TBC


End file.
